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Invalid Input (1998)

by Matthew Embry

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1.
Missing 04:21
i can’t see, i can’t feel can’t even tell what is real and i can’t remember all the things we did and didn’t do for each other… i hope your new partners give you sexual pleasure! i hope relationships show you a lot- i can’t help but recall us together guess its cause i'm too much i-don’t-know-what! - you pathologize i empathize perhaps this dies in each day’s whys… i won’t reveal what is the deal how the deep the stamp of suppression’s seal perhaps in memory for you i'm congeal… i hope your new partners give you sexual pleasure! i hope relationships show you a lot- i can’t help but recall us together guess its cause i'm too much i-don’t-know-what! - you pathologize i empathize perhaps something dies in each day’s whys i stifle cries you like long goodbyes in each day’s whys something of it dies - you pathologize in each day’s whys perhaps something dies and i empathize i economize you vandalize i will tantalize and i you will despise… I am minimized so you will ingest lies and this is long goodbyes stifle each day’s whys - you pathologize i empathize perhaps this dies in each day’s whys…
2.
Nina 03:27
Nina, you always smile at me and your smile is so beautiful its almost like you were here as if you’d been sometime near… your bountiful kindness overcomes my shyness and if i keep you in my head perhaps then you won’t really be dead… you meant to dissolve limits beyond a hint of pretense think i understand this your presence lives and only seek a way to touch you’re lovely i wonder if you as well were lonely… as then, Nina as well……bye.
3.
Detach 03:13
over years i’d wonder some many things not clear between us recurring, a blunder a multiplied myriad to fear but what really hurt is your detachment your detachment is what really hurt… i'm not interested in anymore or waiting at the start of the game when you need a friend i'm born though discretion allows omitting your name but what really hurts is your detachment your detachment is what really hurts.
4.
you’re a consistent friend in the way that you’re an inconsistent friend… i have to make a consistent bend ‘cause you’re an inconsistent friend.
5.
Thank You 03:28
i want to thank you for each way you do in time this rhyme’s leaving breathing thing, held your heart in mind… you’re kind i want to sing of uncontrollably, conspiratorially… hope you know i love you songs like this about you are miming, this timing is finally seeming right you held me through night in kind then we’ll find bud of what we show uncover what we know… uncontrollably, conspiratorially…
6.
and each next step: forego unmet yet stagger on denied regret though don’t blame you for not understanding its silly to wait for some sort of landing what i'm asking somewhat mysterious at times you seem more curious perhaps its clinical, not only physical in place of holding, sick enfolding it’s a muzzle, this worst puzzle you figure it out what i'm all about… and every day wake with same dull ache but unconscious the shame of bleakness found in ticking hours was displayed for you in these gifts, these flowers a reason you’re so curious is that i'm quite mysterious however we land i do understand i bet its physical not only clinical to miss holding, worst unfolding in place of nuzzle, this harsh puzzle you’ll figure it out what i'm all about you’ll figure it out what i'm all about.
7.
i've got a little black place inside my heart inside my heart for you to see i've got a little blank space inside my soul its inside my soul i hope you’ll be… no amount of smiles could erase experiential styles i've got a little black place inside my heart this is what is left of me! and when you see me on the street i look away yes i'll avert my eyes so as not to show the pain that’s welling there that can’t be wished away distorted remnants of a youthful glow… no amount of smiles could erase experiential styles i've got a little black place inside my heart is this all that’s left of me?!
8.
the spelling might be wrong or off-rhythm of song yet for years searched for way to say this but if you missed, it’d be so remiss to glean not fleeing unseen, not weaned… like a lot of us, recoil in disgust a dismal sight of life then wincing loose strife wife i wish the meaning could wipe away what for too many years does stay... it was stupid joking you know sometimes i'm doping… but gleaning, leaving believe not trust you’d not from me recoil in disgust it seems a sensitive nature the substantial thing has been does not include a nomenclature we invite each other in accepting it though you’re hurt for years search to say this has me wish now to assert if missed it’d be remiss… that you’ve become a brother took time to discover we give each other cover.
9.
its reading after poems’ time flecked duck midstream bends to wash neck and recall longing breakdown with you energy far drained below possible accrue because immense pattern gleaned from saddest sight ‘twill be seen in each a profound factor blocking way this alone can create my most maudlin day… - sequestered sorrow, confess tomorrow i can’t desist nor can insist. its seeding before songs’ spark met snake midpath slides safely yet in the occupations total for yous as bereft in vacant daily news will offer faces painful and seen does not begin to touch what’s gleaned closes to truth of basic nil fulfillment opiates hurt, less lost with annulment… drag toward tomorrow, wreathed in a sorrow of too much missed, how i'd be kissed accrue possible, factor blocking way dissolves in horror at most maudlin day - sequestered sorrow, repress tomorrow i can’t assist nor can resist.
10.
C 05:47
11.
Part of You 04:28
if what i do isn’t part of you can’t you see it isn’t part of me... yesterday’s tomorrow in drag let’s beat it down, call him a fag like the assholes next store call their own girlfriends, whore! can you see me now, can you see me not never seem to say what i shouldn’t ought (ta) cannot seek now what i would’ve sought every time i see you i feel so wrought (iron) - the story begins, can we please be friends? girl meets boy girl meets girl boy meets boy boy meets girl…
12.
wonder what Clinton does to celebrate the fourth behind locked door and fuzz on sumptuous multiple course his sermon made me ill its him i'd like to kill… replace with something nil empty space not to fill… the layers have piled too deep alienation completed yet continued pressure finds its’ way to seep in reign of men like Agnew... you snap fingers in laudable wish to banish the us and them dynamic but the ossified structure is missed necessity of liquidation so intrinsic get off of your ass, plunder their stash don’t flock to the mill, insulated with Bill! wonder what Clinton does to celebrate the fourth behind locked door and fuzz on sumptuous multiple course his sermon made me ill its him i'd like to kill replace with something nil empty space not to fill.
13.
not so sure anymore where’s causation exterior constriction then pausation to reflect this emotional conviction terms, degrees charge new affliction i love too many girls don’t know why its so painful each day too much unfurls share it with you if not disdainful accidentally opened harsh reality sans perceiving obvious possibility that perhaps its best from you to hide ‘cause its savage truth you might find each day too much unfurls don’t know why its so hateful i see too many worlds share it with you if not too painful - i don’t wanna hurt you you don’t wanna hurt me i don’t wanna hurt you.
14.
15.
Kenny G. and me… its true love, can’t ya see? who else but me would really grok to his music? who else but me would learn to see his non-existent positive qualities? Kenny G. and me… baby on the way makes three nobody else but me could really learn to appreciate his smarmy saxophone posturing! and nobody else but me would really learn to see his non-existent positive qualities! Kenny G. and me… we had unsafe sex: we’re gonna have a baby bastard family tree, baby on the way makes three Kenny G. and me… its true love, can’t you see?

about

my first solo album made in 2 sessions in the summer of 1998.

credits

released December 1, 1998

Music by ME except tr. 11 by Christopher Saint James/ME + tr. 14 by Sgt. Scrapes/ME
Engineered/produced by SCR.^.PES Mobile Media
Cover by SCR.^.PES
Recorded at What Is Art?, Santa Cruz CA
Mastered by Steve McDonald at the Octagon



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A Work In Progress is an independent record group concerned with do-it-yourself releases distributed on an anti-profit/donation basis.

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Matthew Embry/The Technical Difficulties Radio Show Fresno, California

Upcoming ME-related Shows:
3/28...Oakmont (2 shows)
3/29...Harvest
3/31...Sierra Vista
4/2...Compass Pointe
4/3...Oasis
4/4...ArtPorch 24 (w/ Chelsea Jones)
4/5...Vineyard Reedley
4/6...The Vineyards
4/8...Gateway Clovis
4/9...Cedar Creek

clatterboxx.bandcamp.com
nostrings.bandcamp.com
scrapejuice.bandcamp.com
mattkembry@gmail.com
www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ18kMHIDZhmqWEMIj-0Yyg
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