1. |
Missing
04:21
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i can’t see, i can’t feel
can’t even tell what is real
and i can’t remember all the things
we did and didn’t do for each other…
i hope your new partners give you sexual pleasure!
i hope relationships show you a lot-
i can’t help but recall us together
guess its cause i'm too much i-don’t-know-what!
- you pathologize
i empathize
perhaps this dies
in each day’s whys…
i won’t reveal what is the deal
how the deep the stamp of suppression’s seal
perhaps in memory for you i'm congeal…
i hope your new partners give you sexual pleasure!
i hope relationships show you a lot-
i can’t help but recall us together
guess its cause i'm too much i-don’t-know-what!
- you pathologize
i empathize
perhaps something dies
in each day’s whys
i stifle cries
you like long goodbyes
in each day’s whys
something of it dies
- you pathologize
in each day’s whys
perhaps something dies
and i empathize
i economize
you vandalize
i will tantalize
and i you will despise…
I am minimized
so you will ingest lies
and this is long goodbyes
stifle each day’s whys
- you pathologize
i empathize
perhaps this dies
in each day’s whys…
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2. |
Nina
03:27
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Nina, you always smile at me
and your smile is so beautiful
its almost like you were here
as if you’d been sometime near…
your bountiful kindness
overcomes my shyness
and if i keep you in my head
perhaps then you won’t really be dead…
you meant to dissolve limits
beyond a hint of pretense
think i understand this
your presence lives and only
seek a way to touch you’re lovely
i wonder if you as well were lonely…
as then, Nina
as well……bye.
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3. |
Detach
03:13
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over years i’d wonder
some many things not clear
between us recurring, a blunder
a multiplied myriad to fear
but what really hurt is your detachment
your detachment is what really hurt…
i'm not interested in anymore
or waiting at the start of the game
when you need a friend i'm born
though discretion allows omitting your name
but what really hurts is your detachment
your detachment is what really hurts.
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4. |
Where's the Exit?
01:44
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you’re a consistent friend in the way
that you’re an inconsistent friend…
i have to make a consistent bend
‘cause you’re an inconsistent friend.
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5. |
Thank You
03:28
|
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i want to thank you
for each way you do
in time this rhyme’s
leaving breathing thing,
held your heart in mind…
you’re kind i want to sing of
uncontrollably, conspiratorially…
hope you know i love you
songs like this about you
are miming, this timing
is finally seeming right
you held me through night
in kind then we’ll find
bud of what we show
uncover what we know…
uncontrollably, conspiratorially…
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6. |
Somatic Innervation
04:03
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and each next step: forego unmet
yet stagger on denied regret
though don’t blame you
for not understanding
its silly to wait
for some sort of landing
what i'm asking somewhat mysterious
at times you seem more curious
perhaps its clinical, not only physical
in place of holding, sick enfolding
it’s a muzzle, this worst puzzle
you figure it out what i'm all about…
and every day wake with same
dull ache but unconscious the shame
of bleakness found in ticking hours
was displayed for you
in these gifts, these flowers
a reason you’re so curious
is that i'm quite mysterious
however we land i do understand
i bet its physical
not only clinical
to miss holding, worst unfolding
in place of nuzzle, this harsh puzzle
you’ll figure it out what i'm all about
you’ll figure it out what i'm all about.
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7. |
I Am A Monster
02:20
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i've got a little black place inside my heart
inside my heart for you to see
i've got a little blank space inside my soul
its inside my soul i hope you’ll be…
no amount of smiles
could erase experiential styles
i've got a little black place inside my heart
this is what is left of me!
and when you see me on the street i look away
yes i'll avert my eyes so as not to show
the pain that’s welling there that can’t be wished away
distorted remnants of a youthful glow…
no amount of smiles
could erase experiential styles
i've got a little black place inside my heart
is this all that’s left of me?!
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8. |
A Tune for Jason
04:37
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the spelling might be wrong
or off-rhythm of song yet
for years searched for way to say this
but if you missed, it’d be so remiss
to glean not fleeing
unseen, not weaned…
like a lot of us, recoil in disgust
a dismal sight of life
then wincing loose strife wife
i wish the meaning could wipe away
what for too many years does stay...
it was stupid joking
you know sometimes i'm doping…
but gleaning, leaving
believe not trust
you’d not from me recoil in disgust
it seems a sensitive nature
the substantial thing has been
does not include a nomenclature
we invite each other in
accepting it though you’re hurt
for years search to say this
has me wish now to assert
if missed it’d be remiss…
that you’ve become a brother
took time to discover
we give each other cover.
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9. |
Reading Daily News
04:18
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its reading after poems’ time flecked
duck midstream bends to wash neck
and recall longing breakdown with you
energy far drained below possible accrue
because immense pattern gleaned
from saddest sight ‘twill be seen
in each a profound factor blocking way
this alone can create my most maudlin day…
- sequestered sorrow, confess tomorrow
i can’t desist nor can insist.
its seeding before songs’ spark met
snake midpath slides safely yet
in the occupations total for yous
as bereft in vacant daily news
will offer faces painful and seen
does not begin to touch what’s gleaned
closes to truth of basic nil fulfillment
opiates hurt, less lost with annulment…
drag toward tomorrow, wreathed in a sorrow
of too much missed, how i'd be kissed
accrue possible, factor blocking way
dissolves in horror at most maudlin day
- sequestered sorrow, repress tomorrow
i can’t assist nor can resist.
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10. |
C
05:47
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11. |
Part of You
04:28
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if what i do isn’t part of you
can’t you see it isn’t part of me...
yesterday’s tomorrow in drag
let’s beat it down, call him a fag
like the assholes next store
call their own girlfriends, whore!
can you see me now, can you see me not
never seem to say what i shouldn’t ought (ta)
cannot seek now what i would’ve sought
every time i see you i feel so wrought (iron)
- the story begins,
can we please be friends?
girl meets boy
girl meets girl
boy meets boy
boy meets girl…
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12. |
He's A Ballbreaker
02:46
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wonder what Clinton does
to celebrate the fourth
behind locked door and fuzz
on sumptuous multiple course
his sermon made me ill
its him i'd like to kill…
replace with something nil
empty space not to fill…
the layers have piled too deep
alienation completed yet continued
pressure finds its’ way to seep
in reign of men like Agnew...
you snap fingers in laudable wish
to banish the us and them dynamic
but the ossified structure is missed
necessity of liquidation so intrinsic
get off of your ass, plunder their stash
don’t flock to the mill, insulated with Bill!
wonder what Clinton does
to celebrate the fourth
behind locked door and fuzz
on sumptuous multiple course
his sermon made me ill
its him i'd like to kill
replace with something nil
empty space not to fill.
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13. |
Best/Culled/Segregated
04:02
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not so sure anymore where’s causation
exterior constriction then pausation
to reflect this emotional conviction
terms, degrees charge new affliction
i love too many girls
don’t know why its so painful
each day too much unfurls
share it with you if not disdainful
accidentally opened harsh reality
sans perceiving obvious possibility
that perhaps its best from you to hide
‘cause its savage truth you might find
each day too much unfurls
don’t know why its so hateful
i see too many worlds
share it with you if not too painful
- i don’t wanna hurt you
you don’t wanna hurt me
i don’t wanna hurt you.
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14. |
Later Scraper
01:37
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15. |
Invalid Input
01:41
|
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Kenny G. and me…
its true love, can’t ya see?
who else but me would really grok to his music?
who else but me would learn to see
his non-existent positive qualities?
Kenny G. and me…
baby on the way makes three
nobody else but me could really learn
to appreciate his smarmy saxophone posturing!
and nobody else but me would really learn to see
his non-existent positive qualities!
Kenny G. and me…
we had unsafe sex: we’re gonna have a baby
bastard family tree,
baby on the way makes three
Kenny G. and me…
its true love, can’t you see?
|
Matthew Embry/The Technical Difficulties Radio Show Fresno, California
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